Am I really doing this????

It is official…I am changing jobs next year and returning as a classroom teacher. For the past year I have been feeling less than satisfied in my current job and itching to do something new. I don’t dislike what I do now, and at times, I REALLY love it. But this is my fifth year in my position, and I need a change.

I finished my master’s last year and am certified to be a principal, but it just isn’t the right time for that. One or two late nights each week working at games and school events…DEFINITELY not.

I could wait for my supervisor to retire and apply for her position, but that would mean year-round work and about a billion times more responsibility (and stress) than what I have now. I could see myself wanting that job 15 years from now, but not now.

I could start fresh in a new district (one that is much closer to home) but Gabby’s daycare is in my current district, and we also have plans to start her part time at a pre-school down the street from Pattie’s house in the fall…I don’t want to have to move her someplace else. Not to mention, this is my 12th year in this district. I know administrators and teachers in every building from elementary through high school, I know the culture and climate, I know the kids, I know the curriculum, the policies, the traditions, the values…I’m comfortable here and kind of freaked out at the thought of going to a district where everything is a blank slate to me.

I never intended for my last year teaching to actually be my last year EVER to teach. I have always missed it; I left my teaching job because a new opportunity suddenly became available, not because I was unhappy or burnt out. In the back of my head I always thought I would go back, but it is hard to go back after being out of it for a while. So I figure…no better time than now, right??

I have a feeling this decision is going to be either the smartest thing I have ever done or the dumbest thing. I DO have a wonderful job that comes with lots of opportunities that I won’t have as a teacher. It is going to be hard to get adjusted. I also have to re-learn how to function in very rigid 45 minute blocks of time with no flexibility and hardly any opportunities to run an errand, make a phone call, or even go to the bathroom. Additionally, I was childless and work-obsessed last time I taught. I was often at work from 7 a.m until 6 p.m. and was wound pretty tight back then (yes, I know I am wound pretty tight right now too, but seriously…I was way worse then). Since having Gabby I have done a pretty good job of getting a little more balance in my life…not sure if I was only successful with that because I wasn’t teaching. I am a little apprehensive about how this change might affect this little bit of balance I have achieved.

I don’t have a job yet. What I HAVE done is talked with my supervisor, my assistant superintendent, and our personnel director. All of them know my wishes for next year and are supportive…which makes a big difference. I’ve asked as many questions as I can think of regarding how this is going to affect my contract, my salary, etc. so that I can be fully aware of what I am getting into. So the ball is rolling. At this point, I’m just waiting to see what positions come open, and which principals might be able to find a place for me.