Back to school

I'm back at work! And so far, things are going ok. Granted, school doesn't start for another week, so I still have not had the experience of teaching all day long yet. Here is the good and the bad so far...

The Good:

• I am surviving. I don't feel overwhelmed (although perhaps I SHOULD be feeling a bit more overwhelmed). I don't feel overly stressed. Obviously, the hard part hasn't started yet. But previously when I taught, I still got plenty stressed prior to school starting. I am hoping this is a sign that I might make it through the year.
• I am feeling energized! Amazingly, although I come home tired, it is just a nice "tired" and not "EXHAUSTED-WORN OUT-BEAT DOWN". It is the tired but satisfying feeling of putting in a full day and feeling like I accomplished something. I've been going to bed at a reasonable time and haven't had trouble waking up early in the morning. Throughout the summer I still did one or two early morning work-outs each week...I think that helped me transition.
• I have had ZERO trouble sticking to healthy habits...gym each morning before work, packing healthy food to eat at school, and staying away from treats and goodies that are offered. I got on a really good roll this summer and lost most of the weight I put on over the course of the last year. I've got a ways to go, but I am thinking that teaching will probably prove to be helpful as opposed to hurtful...on my feet and moving all day, no opportunities for random snacking, etc.
• My classroom is looking ADORABLE. I have no idea yet how functional it will be, but what started out as a bare and semi-trashy room is now a space that feels like MINE.
• We had an informal "Meet the Teacher" night last week for new 6th graders. I met tons of new students and parents that night, and I cannot begin to describe how wonderful an experience it was. My kids are no longer faceless blurs in my imagination. To finally have names and faces and personalities...it cleared my head of ANY nagging doubts I had about leaving my old job behind. Despite spending 12 hours up at school that day, I left feeling so energized and positive. David and I met for a late dinner that night and although I was physically pooped, I was talking a mile a minute sharing every detail of the experience with him, and my mind was just racing with excitement.

The Not So Good:

• I still have SO MUCH to learn about my new school. It has been ages since I have been a newbie like this. Even at my old job, I was new...but the whole position was new, and my friend Josie was new along with me. So it wasn't like I was struggling to get up to speed with the rest of the specialists...we were the only two specialists. I didn't feel behind; I guess that is the main difference. This isn't a terribly huge problem; it just feels a little discombobulating that there is just so much I don't know about.
• There are a handful of people I know at the school, and several who I really like and am looking forward to working with. But I don't have friends yet. And I know in time I will make friends, but for right now, I feel a little sad that I don't have a closeness with anyone there. I bring my lunch every day because when we break for lunch, I'm not included yet in any of the little groups who go out to lunch together. Ok that is not entirely true...I actually PREFER to bring my lunch rather than go out and spend money or eat a big restaurant meal in the middle of the day...but it DOES conveniently provide a "safety net" for me so I don't have to stress over whether or not someone will let me tag along to lunch with them. And yes, I know if I just spoke up and asked if anyone wanted to grab lunch that I would be welcomed, but being the one new kid makes me feel more shy and uncomfortable than I would feel in a group where all of us were strangers.
• I have a lot of students. A LOT. My smallest class has 29, and the rest are between 31 and 34. I have NEVER taught such large classes, and I am apprehensive not only about managing them in the classroom, but also about being able to keep tabs on 154 kids as a whole.
• Overall, I just hate this whole transition period. I miss my friends from my old job, but I don't have new ones yet at this one. I don't know my way around the building yet. None of my logins for any programs I need to use work, or they all still associate me with my old job so I don't have access to the right things. It takes me twice as long to do anything because I need to ask for help with almost everything. Where something is, who I am supposed to go to, how to use this machine, what the rule or protocol is for something, who gets what...I just don't know any of that stuff!
• I feel like I have to perform at a really high level to meet people's expectations for me. That is partly just my own perception, but the pressure feels the same. I know I am a really good teacher, and I know I am coming into this with a lot of knowledge. All that I have learned and experienced in the last 5 years is going to make me 10 times the teacher I was before. But still, it has been FIVE YEARS since I was in this role, and I may be knowledgeable, but I am rusty. My brain is not used to balancing 8,492 things at one time while operating in 45 minute segments of time. I need to feel like I have the time and space to get my groove back, and to find a way to assimilate the things I have learned in the last 5 years into the background experience I am carrying with me from my first teaching job.

Ok so that kind of ended on a negative note, but overall, I feel good about things. I can't wait to get to know my kids next week. I am excited about all of the things we will learn. I actually DON'T feel like my life is ending because summer has ended. I will certainly miss all of our summer fun, but now we are moving on to different fun! And Gabby is moving on to newer and better things too...she will be a pre-schooler in 2 weeks! Preschool this year, Pre-K next year (maybe...or maybe just preschool again, not sure which we will do), and then KINDERGARTEN the year after that! Oh MY...

Summer pics

Here are the few pics I have taken throughout the summer...


Swim lessons! This is at the end of her second round of lessons, as you can tell by the fact that she is smiling and not crying. It was a really good decision to have her take two consecutive sessions since things really started clicking for her midway through the second class.



She adored those darn diving rings. She spent all of her free time in class collecting them and wearing them as crowns.



Victory! She is underwater! By choice! No tears, just lots of pride. She is so proud of herself now for how far she has come.



This is also quite a contrast to the first few weeks...she is in line to jump, and she is HAPPY. Jumping in was a major source of anxiety for her. She would stand in line and cry, and let each kid go in front of her until it was just her sad self, all alone, crying, the only one who didn't want to jump. Most days she ended up breaking down so bad that the instructor didn't make her jump, or allowed her to hold hands and didn't put her under the water. But look where we are now...

Another victory!!! I never thought I would see the day where she just jumped on in. We still have a long way to go, but she has finally mastered jumping in and going under. Yea, Gabby!

This summer we swam A TON with Chalna and Colin. We met up for swimming and picnic lunches at Old Town, Rosemeade, and Flower Mound aquatic centers. And yes, we dorks have the same swimsuit. And we love it so much that we don't even care if the other one is wearing it...we just both keep showing up wearing our favorite suit.

Gabby had a blast one day going down the slides at Rosemeade with Chalna. Chalna was a great sport...she must have gone down these slides 20 times (while I watched leisurely from the pool below...HA!)

This was Colin's favorite game...giving Gabby a push down the slides.

At first, Gabby was too scared to go down this tube slide. It is a pretty tame slide, and I tried REPEATEDLY to get her to try it, knowing if she would just TRY it, she would love it. She was having none of that. Then hours later, she suddenly just up and decided she wanted to try it (all by herself) and she just marched up there and went! This child surprises me daily.

I always thought she looked so cute standing in line...always the shortest one up there!

Because she is little, she always got all turned around in the slide. Didn't bother her a bit, though! Across the way, there is another similar tube slide, but about 3 times as large and much faster. And they don't allow lap-sitting on that one. I never tried to push her to try that one, but did tell her that she was welcome to try it if she wanted to. She never showed interest, but yesterday we were there swimming with my friend Julie and her two kids (Alexander and Giada). She just looked over at the big slide and said, "Mom, I want to go on that big one over there." And she did! I stood in line with her and went down after her...she did great! I thought she was going to get nervous while standing in line with all the anticipation, but she didn't at all. She didn't request to go down again, but did say, "That big one is FUN! It's so BIG! It goes really FAST! It made me come out the wrong way!" (It did...she came out feet first on her belly!)

Gabby begged me ALL SUMMER to have some friends over for a tea party. So finally one day we invited Olivia and Josie, and Christina and Finley over for tea and lunch. We had the girls come over at 10:30...next time I might need to have a breakfast tea...Gabby was SO excited she could barely wait that long. She woke up asking "is it time for my party? Is it time for my friends to come over?" and didn't quit until they arrived.

Gabby picked out the Barbie tablecloth, pink plates, and pink napkins herself.

Finley

Olivia

Toasting with their raspberry-apple tea

I should have taken pictures of the food before they started eating. I made finger sandwiches (PB&J hearts, grilled ham and cheese, and pineapple-cream cheese), strawberry muffins, mini quiches, and little fruit tarts (mini versions of fruit pizza on sugar cookies). We also had veggies with dip and fruit. It all turned out so cute and the girls had a ball together.

Colin had a super fun b-day party at the pool! Here is Gabby ANXIOUSLY awaiting some cake. I was cracking up...she just happened to be one of the last kids to get a piece, and her expression was priceless as she was watching all of the kids around her get their cake while she was waiting. Reminded me of the scene in Office Space where Milton keeps passing cake to everyone else (although Gabby did indeed get a piece, of course).

Score, got cake!!

I just thought this was cool. We made a birthday card for Pattie. I just wrote Happy Birthday on the outside and signed our names on the inside, and had Gabby decorate around it. Here is how she colored the inside. She loves to color in lines like this, but I thought it was neat the way she designed it symmetrically. She did the pink on the crease first, and then extended out to the left with other colors. Then I saw that she went back to the middle and repeated the pattern out to the right. She is pretty orderly when she colors. Now that she has more control over what she draws, she is very structured about how she does things. Interesting!

And to end things, here is my all time favorite picture. We were shopping at Costco and I was trying on some glasses. So of course, Gabby wanted to try some on too. This silly face just makes me smile.

Say it isn't so

Today I filled up an entire day with the following:

• Working out
• Doing laundry
• Buying groceries
• Playing with Gabby
• Preparing dinner

No biggie...but then I had a scary thought. Summer is over in 10 days. In 10 days, I'll STILL need to do most of those things on a daily basis, however I will ALSO need to spend somewhere in the vicinity of 9-10 hours at work every day. And that is assuming I don't have to bring additional work home on top of that. Yikes. That seems utterly impossible to me. It just seems like a cruel and inhumane way to live......how can I possibly be expected to work full time?? And be a parent?? And a wife?? And take care of day to day household stuff?? And still have some time for me?? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I know it's possible...people do it all the time. A few months ago, I was doing it, and somehow things were just fine. I know things will be fine once I get back into the swing of things, but that is the problem with summer...(WHAT?!? I am complaining about SUMMER??)...it spoils me! It gets me "out of shape" for living my normal life.

Hopefully all my sadness about the impending end of this nice lifestyle I have so quickly gotten accustomed to will not hinder my enjoyment of these last precious few days!